My first born, my amazing Princess Mikah, started kindergarten.
I truly thought I would be a total mess, I thought for sure that tissue, perhaps a wash cloth, would certainly be needed.
But on that 1st morning, not one single tear was shed, not even the ole, 'knife to the heart' feeling.
Nope, Mommy was good.
How could I not be?
This precious one of mine was BEYOND thrilled, she was glowing, absolutely beside herself to be starting 'Big Girl' school.
Her precious and pure excitement kept any sadness I thought I would feel, safetly at bay.
Yup, the first day...
Mommy was good.
The third day? Well...
that is a different story.
As I got out of the car to walk her in,
and make it into the building,
our conversation went like this:
m: "Mommy, I can walk to my class by myself"
Me: "Are you sure? I can just walk you to the door of your class room?"
m: "No, Mommy, I can do it by myself"
Me: "How about the end of the hallway?"
m: "MOMMY! I am not TWO ya know??!!"
Me: "Okay, Okay"
So,
after hugs and kisses and several 'I love yous' were exchanged,
off walked my 'Big Girl',
(who 'IS NOT TWO!' mind you).
I watched her walk down the hall,
this little thing, amongst all the 4Th and 5Th graders.
She looked so tiny,
and as she kept looking back at me,
and smiling,
that was when the tears happened,
that is when I wished I had those tissues,
THAT is when the ole 'knife to the heart' came.
For 5 years she has been mine.
I have had complete and total control over who she is with,
where she is at,
what she does,
keeping her safetly away from people and things that could hurt her.
But, as I watched her walk off, I realized that,
to an extent,
that protective control is gone.
As she made her way through the crowded hall,
further from me,
not needing or wanting my help,
I was over come with...
Glorious Sadness
You know that feeling?
When the beauty and amazement of something
also heeds a bit of sadness.
And coinciding with the tears,
and the huge lump in my throat,
was the question,
Where the hell has this past 5 years gone?
Seriously, WHERE does that time go?
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a real 'place', that time went?
Somewhere where the past was tangible,
and we could reach back and collect a few days,
and just experience them again.
Impossible, I know.
But a lovely idea, none the less.
Speaking of lovely...
Now here is My BIG girl, on her BIG day...
We managed to start it off with a little snuggle time.
Usually we are able to do this, without any rush to be anywhere, we would sit, snuggle and share my coffee.
I'm sure going to miss that...
But bigger things lay ahead for my little love...
11 comments:
What I would do to have those days back. What a special day and sweet pictures. Glad to see u back
I often find myself asking that same question Kele. I will be in the exact same place you are in 11 more days. YES, I am counting!! Elijah will start his 1st day of kindergarten too. He is super excited, and I am so excited for him. But he is my independent one, the one who is ready to take on the world! BUT, he's still my baby. *sigh*......just so you know, I have tried taking the batteries out of the clock to see if time would stand still for just a few minutes.......sadly it DID NOT work=(
Congratulations Mikah on your BIG day!! I hope you have a fun & exciting school year=)
Doesn't time just move much too quickly? Those pictures are all so precious! Glad she is enjoying school!
Oh I LOVE the first picture!Just love it.All of them really.
I wish I had the answers to the time thing ... I blinked and Jess is 23 and I'm a grandmother.Yikes is right.
Love you friend.Good talking to you the other day.Lets do that more,okay.Backing a bit off of blogging.Just posted about it.Mostly things we have talked about before.It's a good thing really.
Okay,hold tight to those kiddo's.It does fly by.
Wow what a beautiful beautiful girl, and so big! Congratulations of making it through her 1st day without tears, I am sure you did her proud.
Yes they do grow so fast, way too fast. my son is in the 3rd grade and I know he's going to be a young man very soon, well at the rate time seems to be flying....
How's the little butterly doing, long time no post on her, need some pictures!!!!
I ask myself that question every year. I still get teary eyed to watch Aidan leave a the beginning of every year.
Good luck Mikah we hope you have a wonderful year!
I LOVE your idea of having a place where you could go for just a few moments to relive just a little time from the past - let me know if you figure out how to do it :) i teared up reading about the third day of school - uh, where is the time going??? seriously - it did not go this quickly before kids!!!
glad micah loves kindergarten so much!!! hope you are all well!
Okay.I'm back. The first time I was here it was stupid to try to leave a comment because of the snot and tears all over my face.
what a beautiful post and photos to match.
This is my year to "Gulp" ask where has the time gone, too . Olivia hits 13 !!!! an 8th grade graduation this year. YIKES! We both decided I really should not attend, the uncontrollable sobs would be to embarrassing for both of us. LOL
I wish i could go back! hang on to it with both hands.
Gotta go i'm tearing up... I'm such a schmuck!
Love you!!
btw, my cell is dead and your # is in it. Could you shoot me an email with it again?
It's the not wanting you that gets me! I get to walk Greg to school on Fridays when Leah isn't in preschool. Greg makes me stop at the end of the sidewalk! He won't let me even walk him to the doors of the building! Looking on the bright side, he still kisses me before running away (very quickly I might add). Hugs to you! It's so rough!
Enjoyed this post :) It does go by so quickly!!My 3rd oldest went of to college this month!!Seems like he was just a baby yesterday!
Enjoy every moment you can!!!
Where have you gone...I'm missing you out here! Really hope everything is fine? getting a little worried, you haven't been gone this long before!!!
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