Thankful from A-Z...

Haven't blogged much lately, the past week has been filled with some disappointments, not to worry, the kiddos and family are all wonderful, the disappointments have been of a personal nature. However, in the attempts to lessen the pain that these unsettling events have caused, I have decided to commit the rest of this month, the month to give thanks, to solely focus my thoughts and posts, toward just that... the many things that I have to be thankful for.
I am copying a lovely fellow blogger, Emily, who is listing her 'thankfuls' throughout the month, from A to Z. I just loved this idea, so I am stealing it!! Seeing as how I am starting this pretty late in the month, I'll have to figure out how to fit them all in!
So, without further ado, since I am already 12 days late...

ANGELS
I am so very thankful for the Angels in my life, both earthly and heavenly. When Presley arrived in our life, Mike and I were absolutely blown away at the kindness we were shown. We tagged many of those people who showed us kindness, our earthly angels. So many people, many who hardly knew us, some complete strangers, reached out in so many ways. We were blessed, and it made the 'goodness' in people, and in this world, very apparent to Mike and I. This is something to be thankful for in all times of our life, but most especially during that time, a time filled with much fear and despair. During a time like that, knowing you are embraced by goodness, can be very healing.
As far as heavenly angels, well that is a bit more difficult to write about, but I do have one. Ten years ago I lost one of the dearest friends I will ever know. His name is Tim, he and I met in respiratory school in 1994. Our friendship, was by far, one of the most treasured things in my life. No one could make me laugh life him and no one could make me think like him.
The last description one would ever give of me, is an intellect, but Tim was. I have no doubt he was a genius, and I am not just saying that, his father is a dentist, and 2 of his 3 brothers are doctors and the third one is an engineer.... smart was in his blood!
But the thing about Tim is I could ask him anything and not feel stupid. I remember him spending an entire evening explaining the government deficit to me, because I told him I never really understood why the President couldn't just ask the people that print money, to print us some more money, would it really screw things up that badly??! See, all of you are laughing at me right now, but Tim never did. He tried to explain it to me, in ways that I could understand, and we would laugh the entire time!! This may sound silly, I know, but we could talk about anything, would analyze everything and banter for hours. I loved this and I miss it!
The last thing I can say about Tim, is what he taught me... he taught me to see myself better. Not because he thought I was so great and told me often, he did, but that is not how he taught me this lesson. He taught me by his own actions. Tim was so unbelievably amazing, he was smart, he was funny, he was handsome, he was kind. I loved him, yes, but I truly liked him more than just about anyone I had ever met. He was just so cool and likable. However, Tim could see none of this in himself, none of it. It broke my heart. It was the confusion I felt in seeing this, that taught me a huge lesson within myself. I could never understand how someone, so obviously wonderful, could not see himself that way. It made me realize how hard we can be on our self, how we can grapple with self esteem, and all the while, there are people who just think we are so amazing. It is truly because of him and this lesson, that I often cut myself a break. I actually stop, and think of people in my life and the people who love me, think about why they must love me, and say to myself, "These are pretty smart, amazing people themselves, and they like me?!?! Maybe I'm not so bad!"
Unfortunately all the many, many people who loved Tim, could not suppress his demons, and these demons eventually cost him his life.
I call him my heavenly angel because there are times when I am still... and I think of him. I even talk to him in my head and heart at times.
When I have difficult weeks, like the one I have found myself in this week, and I think it is just 'the worst', I can't help but think that Tim would happily take this crappy week, all that it has to entail, and not complain a bit, if he could just be here now. If he could just still have the precious gift of life! I hate that for him, he brought much happiness to many people, he had so much more to do and so much more to teach... I miss him and he will forever be my Angel.